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This Is a Bad Joke, Right?
[Misc] Flowers
I came across this guide to questions women ask men today and, while I don't usually get offended by gender stuff, I somehow found this very offensive. It's a list of questions women ask men and how men can give the right answer (i.e. the one that doesn't make the woman mad). Also, it was supposedly written by a woman.

Some of the things that bugged me the most:

*"We women enjoy talking--and after a lifetime of dating, you should have the flattened cilia in your ears to prove it."

*"If you don't erupt hourly with an Old Faithful-like gusher of steaming words and opinions, she'll imagine that the hot, subterranean stratum of your relationship has cooled."

*"Applying male logic to female emotion is about as smart as throwing gas on a fire." (I would have accepted that if it had been "applying logic to emotion," but why make logic male and emotion female?)

*"We don't talk anymore" is unsubtle code for "I'm starting to think you're a bore, and I wish you'd change my mind."

*"Because your girlfriend is obsessed. Not with your exes, or even with you, but with herself. She's not interested in your past relationships per se; she's interested in what they say about her."

*"When discussing "how things ended" in the past, present yourself as the man who has never found the right woman to love and understand him, but also the man who has never found a woman quite worthy of his best behavior. It's all spin."

"She'd like to find you fascinating, maybe even deep; but she needs a good backstory to confirm this. "

(A woman is likely to ask "Where is this relationship going?") "If (a) you're dating a girl who is definitely the marrying kind; (b) more than 2 years have passed; or (c) she's over 30."

First, is the woman who wrote this so insecure that she needs someone to say the magic words to everything she says, even if it's a lie? Or does she have so much contempt for her gender that she doesn't believe in this, but she thinks all other women need it? And finally, if men don't like it when women play games in relationships, then why on earth would they resort to playing games to avoid answering questions?

It implies that, when it comes to relationships, men are incompetent and women are neurotic. Women are going to constantly look over every single thing in the relationship and say "Oh, wait, when I said 'Good morning' today, he waited three seconds to respond and it usually only takes two. Oh, no, we're breaking up" and that men are going to be so dense when it comes to relationships that a man could walk into a room with a woman sobbing and everything he owned out on the yard and not understand "Oh, wait, I slept with her best friend." It also somehow implies that women are constantly trying to "trap" men and men are always trying to escape commitment.

Furthermore, this has a more sinister aspect. If a woman basically lets men in on the secret that no woman really says what she means and means what she says, that helps perpetuate the "sometimes no means yes and sometimes no means convince me, but it never means no" myth.

I'm not denying that there are gender differences and male and female brains work a bit differently. And maybe each gender has slightly different motivations and interprets things slightly differently. However, these are slight differences. Gender politics is not so bad that men and women need someone to translate for them to have a successful conversation.

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It's allll marketing. This boundary like you said, isn't that bad that you need translation... but...

TV shows can get ratings, web sites can get ad hits, and "authors" can make big money playing off of this since there's always a constant and desperate audience.

I wish the "no" thing was just a myth entirely, but I've seen it in action so much around my friends that it's not entirely false. But I'm glad it's false for me, and I'm comfortable about just being honest. And I think you are too.:D

I'm all for honesty in relationships. Sometimes it can hurt, but hiding stuff will hurt more in the long run, I think. It's a partnership, and to be partners you can't be deceptive as well.


Article is bullshit, bullshit sells, female author should be slapped twice with a large fish, ewww that sucks.

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