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Ray of Light in Law School...
[Misc] Flowers
On occasion, we do get really entertaining professors. I thought I'd share this tidbit from my Evidence professor today. He was explaining Pleading in the Alternative. (At least, I think he was. Keep in mind that I went to the wrong classroom today and actually suddenly remembered thirty minutes into evidence that it was evidence class. I was a bit out of it today.)

Anyway, in the example, the plaintiff claims that the defendant's goat at his cabbages. The defendant response is:

I don't have a goat, but
If I have a goat, he doesn't like cabbages, but
If he likes cabbages, he doesn't like your cabbages, but
If he did like your cabbages, then he was insane at the time.

Yes, I'm aware of what passes for humor in law school can be weak sometimes. Still, you learn to go with it, especially in an hour and forty-five minute class. *thud* Overall, I think I like that professor. I answered a question about why the prosecution and plaintiff occupy similar roles in litigation (both have the burden of proof) and when I went to talk to him about missing Monday, he referred to me as Miss Burden of Proof. You have to appreciate anything resembling a sense of humor in law school.

I also think I'm really going to like my Agency professor, if only because of how he teaches.

To understand why I like the teaching style so well, you have to understand a certain subset of law students. They try too hard. The first week of law school, they would literally use every single legal term they knew in a single response. As time passed and they learned more legal terms, they couldn't use all of them in a single response, but they try to get as many legal-soundings ideas and words into a response as possible. I mean, these people are the sort that use so much legalese that even law professors have to stop and figure out what they're trying to say sometimes.

They also talk often. At least once a class. And they never answer a question, they just use a question a stepping off point for showing off all the legal knowledge they can before they lose the spotlight again.

The interesting thing is that these student's aren't usually at the top of the class. Frankly, some of them are probably closer to the bottom and most of them are very much in the middle of the pack, but they all have something to prove. And it's annoying.

These students do have a weakness, though. Absolutely any exposure to this form of kryptonite will essentially derail one of these students (though it rarely, if ever, makes them stop talking). What is this, you ask?

Simple. Common sense.

At least in a law school setting (possibly others as well), these people operate only in issue spotting mode. They'll search for a legal problem in anything and give you a very legal-sounding analysis (it might even be right, too). However, they're one-trick-ponies. Even when they know the answer is not legal, but completely mundane, common-sense stuff, they still can't do it.

"What color is that car?"

"Well, if it isn't the right color, there might be contract claim for the manufacturer. Also, if there's a defect in the pain, there could be tort liability. Of course, legally speaking, the Model Rules of Professional Conduct would require full candor to the tribunal on the part of the lawyer."

"I asked the color of the car, not tort liability."

"Well, I still think that Tort liability is relevant because--"

"No, it's not. What color is the car?"

"Well, rule 404 says that any relevant evidence is admissible and you could almost certainly argue that the color of the vehicle was relevant to the matter at hand. The problem is that the other side would try to find an exception by saying that it's prejudicial."

"What. Color. Is. The. Car?"

"If the painter and the owner live in different states, there might be diversity jurisdiction. Or you might be able to make it a federal issue based on the commerce clau--"



"The car is red."

"Thank you."

Seriously, it's fun to watch. It's also amusing to watch them get more and more frustrated because their legal brilliance is not being recognized.

I'm looking forward to more of this class.

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I got the goat thing.:)
And I'm usually pretty slow.

"They also talk often. At least once a class. And they never answer a question, they just use a question a stepping off point for showing off all the legal knowledge they can before they lose the spotlight again."

It's not just there, trust me. I had one of those in a comm class last semester. My words weren't as well put as yours, but essentially I felt "Why do people have to be assholes? It makes no one like them."

You're also very brutal, but it makes me smile and laugh, because I really hate know-it-alls so if you're amused at their expense... :)

The goat thing amused me for some reason. I think it's an example of how using a really ridiculous example can make something stick better than a more serious example.

(Plus, I love the idea of an insane goat eating cabbages... Also, that needs to be an icon. Hmm....wonder what they have in Hunchback of Notre Dame....)

I don't know whether law school attracts a greater number of them per capita or whether they just get some sort of validation from being in law school, but geez...

Also, I'm brutal here, but it's because I bite my tongue in class and around those people. A lot of them really aren't bad people. Some are quite nice. They just...I think they have a lot to prove, for whatever reason. So I let it all out in my LJ (in very general terms), not because I want to be two-faced, but because while I really need to let off steam, I really wouldn't want to actually say or do something that would be hurtful to someone who really is trying his or her best (in a very misguided way).

But oooooh, they're annoying when they're talking.

It's true... it makes things interesting. Don't feel so estranged, it's funny universally.:P

I forgot there was a goat in that movie... I had to think about it- some Disney-movie fan I am.:(

It probably attracts those types of people honestly. There was a girl in high school who was very... haughty, I guess, and that's all she talked about doing her senior year while putting herself above other people for it. She was one of the first people I encountered like that since she was in my AP class and stuff.

But I like it. If you can't vent here, where can you? It's not two-faced at all, in my opinion.

At least you can understand them? I mean, I tune out people already when they talk, if they use a bunch of jargon, forget it. I don't mean to say I don't care about people or anything.>->
I'm seriously working on the listening thing too... poor Steph. But when I get hit for it, poor me!:(

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